"Here is the mother of humanity..."

It's been a while. Life is moving quickly now, with all the pieces falling beautifully into place for us.

I went back to work for a couple of weeks...hence my absence. I was doing a subbing position for a teacher whose lovely wife just had their first child. I am relieved to be done, and relieved for the boon of income that will arrive just in time for the move.

We've all been sick around here--a funny illness that takes your voice first, before any other symptoms arrive, but the last couple of days, I've been coughing and tired. The New Guy is coughing too--I lay awake in the night listening to him breathe. I am sleeping less than I ought, but one of these days he'll be too big or too far away for me to listen attentively to his little snorts and snuffles or worry over a few coughs in the night.

Today was our last day at church before the move--we'll be in Utah for a wedding next weekend, and on our way to our new life the weekend after. It seems crazy to know that after all these months of the unknown, its all really here. So much left to do...

At any rate, I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. One of the most comforting things for me, in uprooting my family from the only home they have known and the extended family around them, is that in our new place, the Gospel will still be true, we'll still have the same support system, and that even the lessons here will be the same as they are there. I know this organization is divine, and I will feel a piece of home--my Father's home--in any place I find the Gospel.

It was an exhausting day for me. In spite of the fact that my voice is on sabbatical, the Mister and I had to give the talks in sacrament meeting today, and being that it was our last week in our wonderful ward, it made it that much more difficult. I spoke about the value of women, about our sacred and divine roles in Heavenly Father's plan for His children.

As a youth, and through my college years, I was never really enamored of this idea of becoming a mother. I knew how valuable a role it was, and in theory I understood and appreciated it, but the practical application of motherhood in my own life seemed, frankly, too big and scary of an idea. I had never seen myself as being particularly good with children, and excepting my own nephews and nieces, I didn’t really enjoy being around them all that much. By some standards, the Mister and I waited a long time to start a family after we married, and he was certainly ready to do so when we married. But he was very patient, bringing up the question from time to time, and letting me know that whenever I felt like it was time, he was happy with that.

Ultimately, one of the reasons I have loved this ward so very much is because it was the influence of the wonderful women in this ward who gave me the courage to become a mother. The world is a big and scary place, and I was afraid of not being able to do right by the precious spirits God would place in my stewardship. Thankfully, I saw the children in this ward who are so blessed to have such wonderful, righteous women bringing them up in the safety and security of the Gospel. Without the influence of the amazing women in the ward we have been the last few years, I don't know that I would even yet have the two most remarkable gifts of my sweet children. I thought I understood the doctrine of motherhood, but it is far more than I could have imagined, and being in precisely this place, with these women, helped me to see that. Another piece of the puzzle--another testament of the Lord's hand in my life. I always thought we ended up here out of circumstance, but I see His plan in all of it now.

I found this lovely quote from Sheri Dew, a former General Relief Society President, and I just love it.

"When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed pre-mortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

I know that the Lord knows me. I have always known that, but I know it again. I have always had Him answer my prayers, but know He answers me further. I have always felt His presence, seen Him perform miracles in my life, and now He continues to be there, to guide me, to give me far beyond any possible right I might have. And even now, as I look back on my life, more miracles emerge, more beauty, more influence, more love showered upon me by the Savior of my soul, and the Father in Heaven who know me.