He's here! The newest addition to our little family has arrived.
As with everything else on this pregnancy journey, his birth
wasn't exactly what I had planned, but in the end everything turned out great
and went well. We are so glad to have him here at last, safe and healthy.
Following is what I am sure will be a very long version of his birth story.
Special thanks to my awesome friend Torrey for taking the time to come document
the birth while we were in the hospital!
Because of the cholestasis, I had to be induced by week 37, so at
37 weeks one day, we headed to the hospital to start the process. I had been
induced once before, with Squirrel, because she was two weeks overdue. It was a
long, yucky experience, but having had Little Bird in a VERY quick, completely
natural childbirth, I felt confident this one would go much better. We arrived
at the hospital around 7:30 AM and started the longest part of the
process--answering approximately 97 million questions at least three times
each. Once that was done, they started me on the anti-biotic for the Group B
Strep and the Pitocin. My midwife, Helene, wanted to get the Pitocin going
first to further dilate me and give me the necessary four hours of antibiotics
before breaking my water.
{Feeling Good!}
The next few hours were pretty boring. I was having contractions
every 3-4 minutes, but having been through a natural childbirth (and empowered
by my Hypnobabies training), I was doing quite well, and the nurses kept coming
in to feel my belly to see if I was really contacting as hard as the monitors
suggested. In fact, I was feeling so fine, that I sent Rob to his bowling class
for an hour, since he was worried about his “team’s” score for the week. Their
Aunt Kimber (who came to help this week, and has been SUCH a blessing) brought
the kids up to visit for a bit and then have lunch in the cafeteria with Rob.
{Squirrel was pretty disappointed...she walked in, looked around, and then asked where her new baby brother was. She was less than pleased with the fact that he was still in Mommy's tummy.}
{After their initial interest in the whole process of having a baby,
the kids quickly discovered their favorite part of the hospital--
a television complete with the Disney Channel. Such a novelty!}
After Rob got back from lunch with the kids, Helene returned too
and decided to break my water. I was just getting to the point that I
needed a little more focus to breathe through the contractions, since they had
been steadily increasing the Pitocin level. As with my last experience on
Pitocin, my blood pressure started climbing as well. After they broke my water,
the contractions continued to intensify and became more difficult to get
through. I was getting pretty restless, needing to get up and
down, sit on the birthing ball, and was losing some of my focus. While Little
Bird’s birth has moved very quickly and been intense, thanks to my old friend Pit, there was a different intensity with this one that was difficult to focus
through.
About this point, I started to get pretty snippy. I didn’t have
enough time between contractions to center and completely relax, plus I felt
like people were constantly coming in to poke and prod and ask me more annoying
questions, like “How are you doing?” “Are you still doing okay?” and “Do you
need anything?” I told Rob that I needed him to tell the nurses to shut their
mouths, that I didn’t need anyone asking me if I was doing okay or if I needed
anything after every contraction. I just wanted everyone to zip it;
if I needed something, I would ask for it. In totally sincere, concerned response, he said, “Okay. I can
tell them. Is there anything I can do for you?” While I thought about ripping
his throat out with my bare hands for that reply, I decided that listening to
my Hypnobabies prompts, rather than just do them on my own, might help me to
recenter.
Let me interject here that I fully believe in the Hypnobabies
method. It got me through Little Bird’s birth so well that I and Rob had a
great deal of difficulty even getting anyone to believe that I was in labor. In
fact, because I did so well through the entire labor, we ended up sitting in the ER for half an hour, and then couldn’t even get a
nurse to check my progress until I was already basically through transition,
dilated to a nine, and nearly ready to push. This led to an urgent rush to find
a doctor to catch the baby (our own doc arrived about 10 minutes after the main
event) and I was really able to talk and joke with the staff about this right
through the whole birth. Hypnobabies is an EXCELLENT resource for women who
wish to have a natural childbirth, and I fully credit it with my ability to do
so with Little Bird.
That said, it was no match for the Pitocin.
As I sat on the birthing ball, listening to the usually calming,
lovely voice on the tracks, I found that I was not going “deeper and deeper”
into hypnosis, and that I certainly was NOT feeling “more and more relaxed with
every pressure wave” (contraction). In fact, I knew I was in trouble when,
rather than relaxing, I began to curse this woman, and thought things like,
“Shut…up. You are a LIAR, and I am NOT feeling more and more freaking
relaxed!” I became so irritated with her that I had to take my headphones back
out and resist the urge to smash my ipod to tiny pieces.
And then I started to think really hard about that epidural.
After only a couple more contractions, I started to feel pressure
as well. I made a deal with myself that if I was dilated to an eight, I would
forget the epidural, but if I was any less, I’d call for the anesthesiologist.
Upon exam, I was between a six and seven, so I asked them to call.
He took a few minutes to get there, and had his own list of
questions I had already answered 67 times each, but eventually got the job
done. At this point, I was feeling a great deal of pressure, and when they
checked, I had dilated to a nine and they were calling the midwife to come
down. My blood pressure had still been going up, so they decided I needed
oxygen. Helene arrived a few minutes later to find that I was basically fully
dilated, and that I’d be able to push whenever I felt the urge. It was at this
point that the epidural was just barely beginning to kick in, and I was
starting to curse myself for being such a pansy rather than holding out another
ten or fifteen minutes. However, in retrospect, I am very grateful I got it
when I did.
As they were checking me, Rob decided he wanted to find out what
was happening down there too (pretty funny, considering the doctor had to
literally force him to look at anything with our first baby)! I guess now that
he is a pre-med student, he’s a bit more open-minded. So, he also got his first
intro to obstetrics, something that would NOT have happened without the
epidural.
{This picture cracks me up...obviously an enlightening experience...totally at my expense.}
A few minutes later, I was feeling a little “pushy” and so we
started the long process of moving baby down. This is where the difference
between medical doctor care and midwifery became evident. What had gone pretty
quickly with my first two definitely did not go very quickly with this one, and with a doctor, I know the slippery slope of interventions would have continued. Instead, even with the epidural, we pushed in just about every position imaginable,
including (weirdly) basically being upside-down.
Lucky for me, I had what must
have been a “light” epidural and was still able to move around, stand, get on
hands and knees, etc. Finally, after nearly two hours of pushing, our little
man decided he was ready to join us.
Unlike Little Bird, who was out in practically a single
contraction, this little fellow took a bit longer, and even with the epidural,
the pain and pressure was more intense with this one. However, one of the
neatest parts about this experience, both because he was a slower arrival and
because of the midwife approach, was my ability to deliver him into my own
hands, at my own pace. As baby crowned, I caught him in my hand and pushed at
the rate that was comfortable for me. It was so miraculous to feel him come
into the world into my hand, to hear everyone present ooh and ah as they saw
him, and to hear Rob announce that he looked like his big brother. Another push
and I felt a shoulder come loose; once more and both were free. Finally, his
whole tiny body emerged and with the burst of activity among everyone waiting when
baby arrives, I had my sweet, squirmy little man in my arms.
As I held him and marveled over him, the neonatologist gave him a
once over amid exclamations from the midwives and nurses about how pink he
was, and how well he was doing. He was able to start nursing immediately and
did better than either of my other two did right away. It was as if he was out
to prove to all of us what a tough little guy he was.
With Squirrel and Little Bird’s deliveries, the most immediate
emotion that I felt was joy and pride. With this guy, though the joy was
immense, it was relief that overcame me. The relief had nothing to do with the pain or fatigue of his delivery
(which were both worse than Little Bird’s birth, and far easier than
Squirrel’s), but with all the emotional turmoil I had been experiencing the
last several weeks—the fear of complications that could cause stillbirth, the
worry that he’d have problems breathing (or worse) from being induced early,
the constant back-and-forth in my mind between thinking of the “what ifs” in
preparation and trying to stay optimistic and faithful. For me, I was simply so
grateful to finally see him in my arms. I kept whispering, “I’m so glad you’re
here. I’m so glad you’re here.” Along with all the ailments, he wins another
first—he’s the first birth at which I cried, thanks to that sweet, immense
relief that he was here and he was well.
In the end, I have been blessed far more than I deserve. Our
family has grown, and with it, love expanded. I am so amazed at how well Little
Bird and Squirrel have taken to him, how they want to see him and love him, how
they know to be gentle and marvel at all his tiny parts, sing him songs, hurry
to help, and shower him with affection.
As always, I am grateful
to have my husband as such a powerful support and priesthood leader, and to see
his heart just swell with love at these tiny little beings. We are home now,
trying to settle in to what will be the new routine of our lives as a family of
five, and already it just feels “right.”
This life is a good life.
Blessings,
